Even though this blog is linked to it, I feel the need to preserve this piece of wisdom in some small way. This is one of the most hilarious internet things I've ever seen, and it would be a shame if it was lost to the ever-changing dynamics of the web.
World Religions Simplified
Taoism = Shit happens.
Confucianism = Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism = If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen = What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism = This shit happened before.
Islam = If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Sunni = If we do shit to Shiites, it is the will of Allah.
Shiite = If we do shit to Sunnis, it is the will of Allah.
Judaism = Why does shit always happen to us?
Christianity = Christ died for your shit.
Protestantism = Let shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism = If shit happens, you deserved it.
Evangelicalism = Shit happens—praise the Lord!
Jehovah's Witneses = The end of shit happening is near.
Christian Science = Read about shit happening.
Televangelism = Send money or shit will happen to you.
Mormonism = Shit happens to Gentiles.
Scientology = Engrams happen.
Animisim = Spirits make shit happen.
New Age = Visualize no shit happening.
Rastafarian = Smoke that shit.
Humanism = People allow shit to happen.
Atheism = There is no such thing as shit.
Agnosticism = Maybe shit happens...maybe not.
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