What's on TV

Dancing With The Stars. Ouh gawd. There is nothing there. Nothing. D-listers, E, F, Z listers. Stars? Not. A few names we know, but more than a few gained their fame dubiously. Did they learn nothing from the Kate Gosslin and Kim Kardashian fiascos? Reality "stars" can't do anything but act badly in their reality shows. I've said it before...they are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Loyal viewers are cheated and forced to watch crap dancing. Ok, nobody is forcing us, but we watch because we always have. I can't even see a potential winner and I no longer give a rat's ass. It's time to put this show out of its misery. While watching this sad season premier, I thought of a great way to go out with a bang. Bring back all the previous winners, give them new pro partners, and let's see who really is the DWTS champion. I guarantee it would be one of the highest rated shows ever!

Somehow, the results show wasn't DVR'd. I thought I had it scheduled. Doesn't really matter. Like I said, I'm not as avid about this show as I used to be, and the results are available the next day. The Hoff was first off. That's surprising. He wasn't very good but neither were less well known names. In fact, nobody was any good! There was a rumor a while back that there was a movement out there to sway voters. Not sure exactly what that agenda was but it seemed to be to keep the underdogs around as long as possible. Perhaps there are a lot of Hoff haters out there?

So what else is on the DVR?

Warehouse 13. I love love love this show! I love the stories about the mystical objects. I love the characters. The crossover with Eureka was genius!

Eureka. Oh yeah, love this one for the same reasons. Sort of like Warehouse but with high-tech objects.

Smallville, Supernatural, The Vampire Diaries. I lumped these all together because I haven't watched the season premiers yet. Looking forward to them. Especially Smallville. This is the final season, and it's supposed to wrap up the mythology.

The Good Wife. Good story line, and I really like seeing Chris Noth again. Sexy man! However, Julianna Margulies in the title role is so wooden. Is the character supposed to be that serious and deadpan? I hope Cary sticks around as the villainous element. I'm fascinated by his interesting face. Makes me think evil elf.

Gossip Girl. What can I say? I gotta watch. I like most of characters except Serena. She is such a flake, I just wanna smack her! It's ironic that the bad seeds (Blair, Chuck) are actually the likable characters, where Serena as the "emotional" one is the least interesting. I keep expecting drool to drip off her strange lower lip pout.

Haven. This one kind of lost me. I started watching it, and the plot was thickening. Then it went off air for a while. I have the rest on the DVR but haven't watched it. When this happens, I stack it and watch it all at once. Otherwise, I lose track of what is going on. So I'll keep stacking until the season final. What are the PTB thinking when they do this? And they wonder why they lose ratings. We move on to something we can count on to be regular.

House. I hadn't been watching this before, but am now caught up via reruns on other channels. I'm sure (I hope!) that there aren't successful doctors like this out there. Even for fantasy, this is over the top. House is such a spoiled ego-maniacal brat. That anyone puts up with his shit is so unbelievable. How scary to think a doctor would just start pumping a patient full of drugs or break into their home to figure out what's wrong. Yeah, makes me want to go to a hospital. Now he and Cuddy have finally hooked up. Saw it coming, but didn't want it to happen. He doesn't deserve her or any other good woman.

The Soup, Web Soup, The Dish. Now this is the way to watch reality tv! Love Soup's Joel McHale and Web Soup's Chris Hardwick. Funny cute guys. The Soup should be an hour show. The Dish's Danielle Fischel...shut the fuck up! More air time is spent on her not funny commentary and stupid skits than the clips. I'll add Fashion Police to this paragraph. It just started running weekly after Soup. I like looking at celebrity fashion (even though I'm far from a fashionista myself), but this show seems to be Joan Rivers stage. She's not as funny as she thinks she is, and when she tries to make her plastic face laugh (at her own one-liners), well it's just plain creepy. BTW, when did Kelly Ozbourne become a fashion critic? Ozzy's tattooed punk daughter all growed up after her successful stint on DWTS.

Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I really like these comedies, but unfortunately, they are on nights of other things. The DVR can only handle 2 at a time, and it has to be tuned to one of them. That's ok, I can catch them later in reruns.

Shows already past season finales:

America's Got Talent. I'll start with the beginning. Why oh why do the judges keep really awful talent? We had to watch some horrible things more than once, and they should never have made it past the auditions. That god-awful clown-face old woman pretending to sing. The stupid guy with poor English doing ridiculous impressions. Things like this were actually pitted against real talent in the same category. What an insult to the talent. Ok, I kinda get it...it's about entertainment and ratings, but it looks to me like they cater to the same people who watch reality shows.

It did finally come down to the best talent. I was mesmerized by Jackie Evancho. I've never appreciated opera before. This little girl was literally not of this world. I watched her performances over and over. I was sure she would win. I loved Prince Poppycock for his outrageous flamboyance. He puts more time into costume and makeup than Lady Gaga. His cover of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody was perfection. Fighting Gravity is very cool and different. Go frat boys! And then there was Michael Grimm. The winner. I'm glad it worked out this way. Jackie and Fighting Gravity will have careers regardless. How could they not? There's probably a niche for Poppycock. Grimm deserved it the most. Not only a great talent, but he is so humble and reserved. Not to mention totally crush-worthy. I can't resist a cute guy in a cool hat. I could see him filling the hole left when the world lost Stevie Ray Vaughn.

Persons Unknown. I don't know what to think about this one. They definitely hooked me, but now I have to wait a really long time to see where it goes next. Who are the masterminds behind the kidnappings and what is their agenda? Teasers said we would find out in the season finale, but of course that didn't happen. BTW, you call that a season? What was it, 10 episodes or less?

Covert Affairs. I liked this. It seems to show what the spy business is really like. My main reason for watching could very well be Auggie. Another hot guy with a fascinating face. Couldn't they give him a cooler name? This was another too short season.

I know I mention the DVR a lot but I just love it! I couldn't live without it now. How nice to be able to record 2 shows at the same time, and watch something else recorded earlier or on DVD. I can skip past the stupid long pauses with ominous shark music before announcing a talent show result. I can skip past Brook's vapid interviews to the judges' scores. Oh yeah and of course, the commercials. Skip skip skip. DVR is good.