Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Grass

Have I mentioned how much I hate to mow the lawn?  I don't think so.  Oh did you think this might be about something else?  Well, I could talk about how I feel about that, but not today.

I hate to cut the grass.  Really really hate it.  It's my most dreaded outside chore.  I'd rather crawl around on my knees pulling weeds all day than cut the grass.  I'd rather do anything outside than cut the grass.

If I had my way, I would have no lawn at all.  None.  Lawn is such a waste of space in the bigger picture.  It's a water hog, it needs constant cutting and trimming, and it's boring.  As a gardener who gets gardening magazines and has the unlimited resources of the web, I can think of a lot of ways to eliminate lawn from a well landscaped yard.  Not that my place is well landscaped, it would probably be too wild for many people.  I like wild and more natural and unplanned looking.  I landscape to make my life easier as well as for the pleasure beautiful plants give me.

When I moved here, it was an acre and a half of grass.  It's very rural, what I call being out in the sticks.  The former owners' had done no landscaping, it was a blank slate of grass.  I immediately began to eliminate some mowing.  How do I do that?  Gardens are one way.  I don't own a weed-whacker.  Haven't for years, even before I moved here.  Hate the damn things.  They never work well, you're constantly stopping to get it working again, bumping out more string, reloading string when it gets tangled or whatever it was that made it stop working.  And then there's the special gas/oil mix and a loud motor and maintenance.  Oh and they usually aren't built for short people, it's hard on the back and all.  So I build a garden anywhere that needs trimming or that's hard to mow.  Gardens are designed so the lawn mower can easily move along the edge.  Since I've had acreage most of my life, that means a riding lawn tractor.  No inside corners, preferably all straight or curved edges.  Easy to drive along.  I have designed a new edge by driving it with the tractor first.  Whatever the blades couldn't reach becomes part of the garden.  My houses and outbuildings have always had plantings around them as part of this plan.

Over the years, I abandoned more and more lawn.  I use the term lawn loosely.  I don't do lawn care.  If it needs mowing, it's lawn.  My particular lawn is a wild life habitat in itself with its variety of plants (what a lawn care nut would consider weeds).  It's green...good enough.  I allowed more natural habitat to take over the perimeters of the property.  In the beginning, it took a good 3 hours on the tractor to cut the grass.  As of now, I've got it down to less than an hour and a half.  And I'm still eliminating more lawn.  If I don't go there, I don't mow there.  Being so rural, that was possible here.  Curb appeal is not at issue here.  There's very few passers-by to care about it.  Most of my landscaping is designed for MY view, not the road's.

You might think having a tractor would make it less hateful.  I know a lot of people love to cut the grass on a tractor.  Not me.  This is actually why I'm ragging about grass.  Having a tractor means maintenance, repairs, gas, and noise.  I hate making that much noise and I don't like to hear it.  I wear ear protection on the tractor.  I worked in an auto factory where hearing protection was mandatory.  Later on, they relaxed the rules a little to allow people who didn't work in loud areas to decide if they needed it.  I knew when I needed it and I used it.  My father went deaf due to what he believes was damage from when he was a radio operator in the service.  I don't want that to happen to me.

Tractor maintenance is part of the reason I'm never ready for the first cut of the season.  I put it off.  I don't even try to start the tractor until the day I finally get the gumption to get it over with.  I know I should have done that months ago before I actually needed it, but I don't.  Because I hate it so much!

Which brings me to this year.  You got it, haven't cut the grass yet.  So I get the tractor ready.  Change the oil, get gas, check the tires, shoo the fucking wasps that start living in any little space, drag out the battery charger because it's usually dead after sitting all winter.  This year, I didn't even try to charge the battery.  It's over 4 years old, I just figured it was time for a new one if I have to charge it every year.  Then it still wouldn't start.  Dead, zip, nada, not even a little clicky sound.  Well shit.

So I called Sears.  Oh yeah, forgot to mention it's a Craftsman.  I've always had them.  One reason is they were the best price.  John Deere or Cub Cadet can cost twice as much for the same thing.  I got a good 11 years out of my last Craftsman.  This one is about 4.  The other reason is that Sears will send a repairman to your house.  I can't load it up and take it somewhere, at least not by myself, and I know repair shops aren't going to get it fixed in a day.  It can be a little expensive, but I usually don't need it every year.  It's worth it to me, and I bet a repair shop would be nearly the same.  These Sears guys are good and so nice.  They get it fixed in an hour or so right out of the back of their truck, and they will do other things like grease the gears, etc, as part of the service call.  They have everything they need, even a hydraulic lift.  About the only drawback is their schedule.  This time, it was 2 weeks before they could get here.  With the mild winter and all the rain we've had, the grass is now a hay field in a lot of places.  Remember I said my lawn is made up of a lot of different things.  Some is actual grass which grows tall fast, others are short native things.  So it's not completely out of control yet, but it's getting there.  It's going to take 2 cuts to get it down to the height I like which is pretty short.

But tractor is fixed and it wasn't as expensive as I feared.  Just the service fee which I was prepared for and a little extra for 2 small parts.  It was the starter solenoid, BTW.  I even got a bonus.  The seat had been chewed up by a bad dog and I knew I'd have to replace it eventually, but in the meantime, I just threw an old bath rug on it.  I actually do that anyways because a black plastic seat gets hot in the sun.  The nice repairman had a used seat in his truck and offered it to me for $10.  Sold!  He said a new one was over $100 and I believe him.

One of my internet diversions is browsing real estate.  I would like to move again and dream about it.  I tend to want to move every 8-9 years and it's no different now.  Can't right now, but I can dream.  As I get older, I notice how much maintenance a property would be.  If it's a little lot, why would I want any lawn?  Much easier to completely get rid of it and the equipment to maintain it, and that's easily done with landscaping.  If I could do that here, I would, but I can't.  It's just too rural and big and landscaping everywhere I do go would be astronomical in expense.  So every year, I dread the beginning of mowing season, and as always, I'm late again.

Good morning.